World's Strongest Redneck Saves Kitten from a Can

Steve McGranahan, the self-proclaimed "World's Strongest Redneck" was driving around one day when he somehow noticed a little kitten on the side of the road with it's head stuck in a can. Being the kind, strong redneck man he is, Steve didn't hesitate to pull over and save the poor animal from it's dark fate. The redneck noted that the cat had been licking something, probably trying to consume the final remains of cat food from the Special Kitty cat food can. Thanks to Steve's heroic efforts, the kitty is "all happy now", and was succesfuly able to remove it's head from the can. "That's what the world's strongest redneck does," Steve McGranahan says in his video, "runs around savin' kitties... Bagghhhhhhhh."

Woman's nose bitten off by dog, Husband bites dog back

All was normal in Madrid, Iowa, as a married couple, Careen Henry and Laine Henry were walking their pet beagle through their neighborhood- until a vicious dog attacked them. The attacking dog was a 50 pound Labrador mix. It ran from a neighbors yard and brutally attacked the couple's beagle. As the couple tried to intervene in the dog fight and save their poor beagle, the stray dog began to attack the Iowa woman, Careen, apparently nearly tearing off her arm and severely injured her nose. According to Careen, her husband Laine tried to fight off the vicious stray dog by biting it back. There are no reports of how successful Laine's attempt was.

Also, watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aJS7pQkGrwQ

Giant Sweet Potato Grown in Garden of a Gardener

Joao Varela has a pasiion and a talent for growing plants. Just last week, Joao harvested a 20 pound sweet potato from the garden in his own backyard. This hefty potato is over 3 feet long. The gardener's explenation for this massive spud was that "The soil here is strong". A technical agronomis, however, had a different explanation. He said that the soil, climate, or fertilization could not have formed this specimen, but that the sweet potato probably had cancer. It's cells had faster development, probably caused by a fungus or virus. Joao was talented enough to grow this huge sweet potato, but unfortunatly wasn't talented enough to make the world record. The world's largest sweet potato was harvested in Spain in 2004, weighing 81 pounds AND 9 ounces.
http://www.brazildispatch.com/2013/04/backyard-gardener-grows-giant-sweet-potato.html#more-5741

Monster Whirlpool Swallowing Everything

Near the banks of the Daugava River in Dviete, Latvia, a monstrous world pool was filmed devouring all that nears it. Most whirlpools form when two fast moving currents meet, flowing against eachother in opposite directions. This whirlpool, however, was formed when water from the swollen river began flowing into an inlet upstream. As it flowed on the upstream side of a bridge, everything sucked in- massive ice chunks, plants, and other floating debris- everything was funneled under the road which the spectators are standing on in this video. Janis Astics, who took the footage, described that the powerful whirlpool is "swallowing everything dragged towards its direction". 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/23/kimmel-coachella-lie-witness-news_n_3137809.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular#slide=1380868

Two Headed Lamb Born in Ghana

A completely normal lamb was born on a Monday afternoon near Tarkwa, Ghana. Completely normal, that is, except for the multiple faces protruding from the lamb's neck. There aren't many details known about this two-headed lamb on a personal level, but Todd Ray from the AMC series "Freakshow" sure is interested in it. He doesn't know if the goat is still alive or not, but he is still interested and concerned for the animal. He says "People often try to feed both mouths, but one may not have a functioning throat or it may have an obstruction". Thankyou Ray, thank you. Ray proudly holds the largest collection of two-headed animals in the world, including a two-headed chicken, two-headed goat, and two six-legged two-headed Bearded Lizards. 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/12/two-headed-lamb-born-in-ghana_n_2862635.html

New Rocket Fuel

NASA, and many individuals, wan to put man on mars. A newly proposed rocket fuel could make this trip possible. A team at the University of Washington is bein funded by the space exploration program to build a fusion engine, which could get humans to Mars in as little as 30 days. This could make current forms of space power obsolete, seeing as it took 8 months to send the mars rover Curiosity to Mars using expensive fuel powered rockets. The proposed Fusion Driven Rocket uses magnetism to compress aluminum or lithium bands  around a fuel pellet. This initiates fusion, which forces the propellant mass out at 30 kilometers per second. This FDR is incredibly more efficient than current rocket fuel, and could be completely powered by solar power. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that the US government will throw any money towards this project, but advancements will be made in time.

North Korea reads threatening April Fools Blogs, Takes them seriously

North Korean spies were making their usual rounds of investigating US internet usage when they came across several blogs involving the destruction of North Korea. These blogs were written by high schoolers of a small school in Northeast Wisconsin. The spies immediately informed their leader, Kim Jong-un, of the high schools plotting to violently attack an defeat their country. They reported that the blogs were suspected to hold information from a military database, which told of the US's plans for attacking North Korea (a mission predicted to fail). Kim Jong-un ordered his military to take action immediately, heightening their defenses and preparing for battle. Though they haven't found further evidence of this potential attack, they are determined to not be caught off guard. As they wait for the US to make the first move, North Korea continues to prepare for battle, making sure to make ready any forces they might need to take down these threatening Wisconsin "high schoolers".